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From August 1999 through May 2001 I was involved in an emotionally difficult,
extremely antagonistic divorce that included very opposing beliefs in what
parenting plan was in the best interests of our son, 4-1/2 years old (as of
May 2001).
My clinical depression from 1997, my transsexualism and just about everything
else she could think of was presented in a negative way to force a significant
reduction in the amount of time I would spend with our son. (Historically, my
time had been daily with most of the interaction during the day between our son
and I.)
On May 17, 2001 at the strong urging of Judge Welch to settle out of trial, we
did reach settlement (not to be taken as agreement). Below is a bit of a recap
of just the custody related settlement.
May 17, 2001
Papadopoulos (Petitioner) v. Funatake (Respondent)
Multnomah County, Oregon
Judge Elizabeth Welch, presiding, Circuit Court
- Petitioner sought a very limited every other Sat overnight and one other
overnight during the off-week and sole legal custody. She based it on the grounds of the impact of
my pending gender transition, my emotional stability (based on my depression
in 1997), my developmental philosophy that does not include punitive type
discipline (take aways, etc.), an accusation that I have not allowed her to
have time with our son, that I have been aggressive and competitive in that
regard.
-
Judge Welch affirmed that being transgendered is not an issue in this case.
-
Judge Welch focused strictly on the mental health issues for Respondent.
Respondent's lawyer presented arguments supporting the very stable mental
health of Respondent, stating the known stresses, in general, of divorce,
significant loss of time with one's child, gender transition and other minor events going on
and that Respondent was not on any medications and was doing well in work
and all other areas of life. Respondent's stability accepted by Judge
Welch.
-
Petitioner continued to request a single overnight in the off-week (approximately 11 days).
Judge Welch stated that after reading all statements and the evaluator's report did not
see 1 contact day in 11 as being in the best interests of the child and would not support
any plan that had that much non-contact time. (Judge Welch, during one meeting with lawyers
and Petitioner and Respondent, had indicated she became very aware of a Petitioner's
strong control issues. Judge Welch indicated to Petitioner's lawyer that should she
continue to be inflexible that she would lose in the parenting time issue.)
- Settlement: (4 overnights per 14 day period, plus an evening)
- Saturday 9:00am until drop-off at preschool, Monday morning (alternating weekends)
- The following Thursday from pick-up from school until 7:30pm, returning child to Petitioner's home. (alternating weeks)
- Following Petitioner's weekend, Monday pick-up from school until Wednesday morning drop-off at school. (alternating weeks)
- Each to have 1 week in each of June, July August with Respondent receiving first choice.
- Equitable and alternating years for holidays.
- In January 2003, parenting plan changes to 5 consecutive overnights, alternating weeks for
Respondent. Stipulation includes recalculation of child support based on exceeding the
35% re-calculation criteria.
- Joint legal custody {major decision making - schools, medical}
The significance of the joint legal is that Petitioner sought sole legal custody, knowing
that in Oregon, the courts cannot, by law, rule for joint [legal] custody unless both parents
agree. During the reading of the settlement, joint legal custody was read and Petitioner raised
objection to that. Respondent stated disagreement with giving sole, legal custody to Petitioner.
Judge Welch asked if Respondent was aware that she could not award joint legal. Respondent
acknowledged awareness of the law. Judge Welch left to allow parties to resolve this issue with
Respondent being given a joint legal custody status.
The People Involved:
- For Ms. Papadopoulos (Petitioner)
- Priscilla Seaborg, Esq.
- Jean A. Furchner, Ph.D., Custody Evaluator
Judith Pulliam, LCSW, Furchner's associate
- For Ms. Funatake (Respondent)
- Ivan M. Karmel, Atty.
- First Mediator
- Linda Sherman, Ph.D., Mediator
- Post-evaluation Mediator
- Ingrid Slezak, Atty, Mediation Services
- Presiding Judge
- Judge Elizabeth Welch
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